Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Vipassana Continues : Life Beyond 300 Hours - Update

Hello friends ,

I am back with my update on Vipassana post 300 hours of practice. This also completes an year of the same as i visited Vipassana center at the same time last year.

This will be a short update as there isn't much that i have got insight into. This was rather fast cycle & was completed in 4 months time.

Continuing with Vipassana :

I remember Goenka Ji telling that if one continues with the practice for a year , it is likely he/she will continue it life long. Well, he was right !! My motivation for daily sitting has gone up and i dont really skip days unless there is something urgent. it has become part of my schedule now and comes without any effort.

Update on Anapana: 

The breath monitoring is going fine. I also found that mind is finding it boring and tends to indulge in thoughts it likes. The focus is fine and mind goes into deep concentration. Many a times i see that body doesn't exists when eyes are closed & i find myself searching where am I in the whole framework of body. There isnt further insight i have got into , but for sure i need to have a bit more deep concentration.
Update on Vipassana:

The body scan is going as usual. I feel sensation all along my body. The focus has now shifted to even internal part of the body from skin. Apart from that there is not much i see. I dont see any total dissolution etc as mentioned in the talks.

Challenges :

The sleepiness during meditation is coming out to be a great challenge now. Sometime it may be due to physical fatigue but many a time it is mental boredom. Determination is the only tool to get rid of these issues. I challenge myself quite hard to stay awake and into awareness.

Benefits:

The observing mind is on it's way to become stronger and stronger. Sensations triggers in undue situations & i dont remember many instances of loosing cool .

I sign off with this until 400 hrs. In between i have been reading books like "Wellness sense , If truth has to be told , Kundilini  , The incredible life of an Himalayan Yogi , Wisdoms of the RIshis etc.

No other insight has occurred as of now apart from what i had posted earlier.




Thursday, September 22, 2016

Happy Bday

हर जहाँ, हर  आसमाँ
हर ज़मी मिले
कोई भी ग़म न हो कभी
जहाँ भी हो , हर ख़ुशी मिले ,

तितलियोँ के पँख ले के
उड़ चले ये मन
छू लो  हर  छितिज़
पा लो  सारे रंग

दूर ही सही पर 
ये  दुआ कर रहे हैं
रौशन रहे हर रास्ता तुम्हारा
कुछ  दीप अपनी ,
तुम्हारी राहों पे रख रहें हैं  ॥ 

जन्म दिन मुबारक  Simi ||





Thursday, July 28, 2016

ख़ुदा मिला

ढूंढा जहाँ पे वहाँ मिला
कभी मुझमे , कभी उसमे मिला
खुद को ढूंढता रहता था खुद में
पता नहीं क्यूँ , जहाँ  खोजा, ख़ुदा मिला ||



Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Vipassana Continues : Life Beyond 200 Hours

Hello Friends,

My last post was about myself crossing 100+ hours of Vipassana Practice , so here i am with my views post 200 + hours. Personally i dont believe that i am in a race against numbers , however it might be a helpful to others who are also interested in spiritual (Self) enlightenment.

I am adding my perspective post 200+ hour of Vipassana meditation . I am writing on the top of my previous post ( 100 Plus hour with Vipassana) , just to give a clear idea on what is changing along the path.

What is Vipassana
<<Post 100 hours >> : https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/about/vipassana

<<Post 200 hours>>: The understanding of Vipassana has become more close of my daily life . Sometime it feels like it has made a tailor fit adjustment to my daily routine. I see Vipassana as a self inquiry method now and find this as a great tool to remain aware at every moment.


Ques: Why i started doing Vipassana ?
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: My desire to find truth that lies beyond the worldly affairs, lead me to Vipassana. I was keen to eradicate suffering that i was experiencing in and around me.

<<Post 200 hours>>:
Ans: I think Vipassana is fundamental to every living human being. It re-establishes self of a person that has been overshadowed by its mind & matter. I am continuing Vipassana as i find the technique effective and less demanding.



Ques:What else i do apart from Vipassana?

<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: I practice Yoga ( Pranayam + Hatha Yoga) daily for an hour. It has helped me to set the platform for further adventures into the spiritual path.


<<Post 200 hours >> :
Ans: Apart from what i listed in my previous article, i now have a personal Yoga teacher , he focuses more on Aasana & physical aspect of yoga. Rest of the weekdays i focus on Pranayama . Apart from it i make every effort to be present in the current moment and experience the world as it is unfolding.

Ques: What kind of state i was in before practicing Vipassana
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: I faced moderate anger issues , constant conflict with self and society , ego issues , constantly occupied with thoughts etc. I didn't face any significant issues and can consider my issues as common to anyone.

<<Post 200 hours >> :
Ans: NA

Ques: How is my practice going?
<<Post 100 hours >> :

Ans: I practice Vipassana daily for 1 hour in the evening . apart from this i also observe my sensations anytime i am free like driving , before sleep , walking etc.
<<Post 200 hours >> :
Ans: It has taken almost same or little extra time to complete 200 hours. I must agreed in last months it has slowed down a bit . For reason unknown to me , i feel sleepy during my sits. I am hopeful that it is just passing issue and i will gather enough strength to continue doing this. Apart from the daily sits (~ 1 hour) i remain in awareness as much as i can.

Ques: How has it helped?
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: There are many aspects of changes i am observing,

1. Mind is no more constantly generating thoughts ( self thoughts about "I")
2. Instances of anger and loosing control has come down
3. Duration of anger has come down
4. Stress has reduced a lot
5. There is slight decrease in "I" and Ego issues
6. Sleep is better.
7. Self control is strengthening every passing day
8. I quit smoking , drinking , unnecessary eating and i found no quitting issues

<<Post 200 hours >> :
The above noted positives continue to be there , i will add additional observations
1. Journey towards a calm mind is going on. I find more peace within
2. Random events of anger do occur but they dont last long anymore
3. Self love and ego glorification has come down and i feel that self is observant and ensuring that i dont take a dip in the "I" syndrome.
4. The path is self reveling the journey itself , i have noticed that things related to what i need in the spritual journey is coming close to me without much effort. Books , Stories , Motivation all becomes visible when needed..... is someone helping me...i dont know... i hope .... there is someone
5. I have become aware of what i do and how i spend my time. Time wasting activities like TV etc has long left me.
6. All of a sudden i find myself close to the nature. I have turned into a avid bird watcher and enjoy every aspect of nature.
7. Need for a helping hand & blessing (call it 'the Guru') is arising as continue my journey. Books are helpful and i have a long list of it.
8. Professionally i am doing good , a peaceful mind has helped me in my job.
9. The worldly possessions doesn't make me weak , but they do attract me every now and then

Ques: What is the progress in Vipassana after 100 + plus days into it?

<<Post 100 hours >> :

Ans:
Anapana has helped me in my concentration. I don't get lost with thoughts anymore during my sittings. The mind sharpness needs further development as sometime i find my own breath disturbing my focus
Vipassana:
I don't see any aversion and craving for any type of sensations as such, however occasional -disappointments for not finding sensations does arise.
I am able to feel sensations across my body during my 1 hour sitting and also anytime i create aversion or craving, leading me to stop generating "Shakharas" to some extent.
The free flow is moderate. I don't know what i am feeling can be termed as ""free flow''. It needs to be further developed .

The gross sensations are in process of getting subtle but seems like it demands much deeper Samadhi that i need to develop further. Most of the time sensations are gross apart from feeling fine electric current when even i run my mind through out the body.
<<Post 200 hours >> :
Anapana:
The concentration has evolved and i get to stillness faster. Occasion of the mind wondering still exists (during sleepy moods) but then occasions of stillness also coming on my way. I have not had any vision or revelation as yet. Anapana is working to quite my mind, and it is doing it big time.
Vipassana:
Sensations are as usual present. I dont see much progress into it. I cant make out if my gross sensations have dissolved. Some part of body has become more easy for sensation observation. I have noticed pain sensation during moments of anger .

Beyond mind and matter vision looks like a long journey as of now , i am considering a three day retreat sometime soon. i seek a Vipassana guru to help me more on this.

I would also like to read Satipatthana Sutta very soon. . Vipassana books as per Goenkaji method are rare to find.

Ques: Do i get bored ?
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: Yes many time i do get bored simply sitting and watching sensation . I try to keep myself motivated by seeing videos and reading Vipassana books. It seems like a long way and i feel i am just 5 % there.

<<Post 200 hours >> :

Ans: Boredom moments are there, i also feel sleepy now and then. I have understood that if i had a good sleep before the sit , it gets better.

Ques: What I have learnt?

<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: I guess i have found glimpse of truth , but i may be wrong or not ready enough
1. I feel the separation between self and body . Sometime i find breathing is occuring without my effort
2. I still feel mind and self as same, as i haven't observed any such separation yet
3. Body we feel is because of sensations we produce , many times during meditation i observe the knowing of my body is shaped by the sensations around it. so eventually when i stop producing these sensations , i will stop feeling my body. This can be a wrong assumptions .
<<Post 200 hours >> :
1. I occasionally feel that breathing is voluntary and we breathing is just a mask. I have found occasions where i see body breathing and self watching it.
2. During half sleepy state i found intense sensations , however i guess those were due to fan running at the top and touching my skin.
3. Nothing additional i can remember that i have learnt new.
**** End of Experience summary ******


The progress in Vipassana depends upon individual willingness & effort. Dedication and determination is an important aspect of it. If you ask me a question "Do i see a transformation?" my answer would be "Yes". I couldn't believe that i lived 35 years in darkness and occasionally feel insecure that i might go back to same old ways due to lack of guidance & a Guru. I hope everyone who reads this blog finds some use of it.




All the best


Metta to everyone.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Vipassana : My encounter with the truth has just begun

I am  inclined to post this as i complete around 100 + hours of Vipassana & Anapana meditation . I have also completed 10 days of retreat that helped me get deeper insight of the practice.

What is Vipassana

https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/about/vipassana


Ques: Why i started doing Vipassana ?

Ans: My desire to find truth that lied beyond the world affairs lead me to Vipassana. I was keep to eradicate suffering that i was experiencing in and around me.

Ques:What else i  do apart from Vipassana

Ans: I practice Yoga ( Pranayam + Hatha Yoga) daily for 1 hour for physical aspect of cleaning my body. It has helped to set the platform for further adventures.

Ques: What kind of state i was in before practicing Vipassana

Ans:  I faced moderate anger issues , constant conflict with self and society , ego issues , constantly occupied with thoughts etc. I didn't face any significant issues and can consider my issues as common to anyone.

Ques: How is my practice going?

Ans: I practice Vipassana daily for 1 hour in the evening . apart from this i also observe my sensations anytime i am free like driving , before sleep , walking etc.

Ques: How has it helped?

Ans:  There are many aspects of changes i am observing,

1. Mind is no more constantly generating thoughts ( self thoughts about "I")
2. Instances of anger and loosing control has come down
3. Duration of anger  has come down
4. Stress has reduced alot
5. There is slight decrease in "I" and Ego issues
6. Sleep is better.
7. Self control is strengthening every passing day
8. I quit smoking , drinking , unnecessary eating and i find no quitting issues

Ques: What is the progress in Vipassana after 100 + plus days into it?

Ans:

Anapana:
Anapana  has helped in concentration.  I dont get lost with thoughts anymore during my sittings. The mind sharpness needs further development  as sometime i find my own breath disturbing my focus

Vipassana:

I don't see any aversion and craving for any type of sensations as such, however occasional -disappointments for not finding sensation does arise.

I am able to feel sensations across my body during my 1 hour sitting and also anytime i create aversion or craving, leading me to stop generating "Shakharas" to some extent.

The free flow is moderate.  I don't know what i am feeling can be termed as  ""free flow''. It needs to be further developed as the focus as any one part doesn't stay for long time.

The gross sensations are in process of getting subtle but seems like it demands much deeper samadhi that i need to develop further. Most of the time sensations are gross apart from feeling fine electric current when even i run my mind through out the body.



Ques: Do i get bored ?

Ans: Yes many time i do get bored simply sitting and watching sensation . I try to keep myself motivated by seeing videos and reading Vipassana books. It seems like a long way and i feel i am just 5 % there.


Ques: What I have learnt?

Ans: I guess i have found glimpse of truth , but i may be wrong or not ready enough

1. I feel the separation between self and body as manytime i find breathing independent of me
2. I still feel mind and self as same, as i haven't observed any such separation yet
3. Body we feel is because of sensations we produce , many times during meditation i feel the feeling of body is shaped by sensation. so eventually when i stop producing these sensation , i will move stop feeling my body. This can be wrong assumptions but it just a intuition.

I have written down what i have learnt in all these days. The experiences may differ person to person. Not reacting to sensations is important because the end result of  Vipassana is to make you a better person. The knowledge of truth is just part of the process.

I hope above information helps anyone who is interested to set himself/herself free from suffering.

Metta to everyone.

नक़ाब