Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Vipassana Continues : Life Beyond 200 Hours

Hello Friends,

My last post was about myself crossing 100+ hours of Vipassana Practice , so here i am with my views post 200 + hours. Personally i dont believe that i am in a race against numbers , however it might be a helpful to others who are also interested in spiritual (Self) enlightenment.

I am adding my perspective post 200+ hour of Vipassana meditation . I am writing on the top of my previous post ( 100 Plus hour with Vipassana) , just to give a clear idea on what is changing along the path.

What is Vipassana
<<Post 100 hours >> :

<<Post 200 hours>>: The understanding of Vipassana has become more close of my daily life . Sometime it feels like it has made a tailor fit adjustment to my daily routine. I see Vipassana as a self inquiry method now and find this as a great tool to remain aware at every moment.

Ques: Why i started doing Vipassana ?
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: My desire to find truth that lies beyond the worldly affairs, lead me to Vipassana. I was keen to eradicate suffering that i was experiencing in and around me.

<<Post 200 hours>>:
Ans: I think Vipassana is fundamental to every living human being. It re-establishes self of a person that has been overshadowed by its mind & matter. I am continuing Vipassana as i find the technique effective and less demanding.

Ques:What else i do apart from Vipassana?

<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: I practice Yoga ( Pranayam + Hatha Yoga) daily for an hour. It has helped me to set the platform for further adventures into the spiritual path.

<<Post 200 hours >> :
Ans: Apart from what i listed in my previous article, i now have a personal Yoga teacher , he focuses more on Aasana & physical aspect of yoga. Rest of the weekdays i focus on Pranayama . Apart from it i make every effort to be present in the current moment and experience the world as it is unfolding.

Ques: What kind of state i was in before practicing Vipassana
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: I faced moderate anger issues , constant conflict with self and society , ego issues , constantly occupied with thoughts etc. I didn't face any significant issues and can consider my issues as common to anyone.

<<Post 200 hours >> :
Ans: NA

Ques: How is my practice going?
<<Post 100 hours >> :

Ans: I practice Vipassana daily for 1 hour in the evening . apart from this i also observe my sensations anytime i am free like driving , before sleep , walking etc.
<<Post 200 hours >> :
Ans: It has taken almost same or little extra time to complete 200 hours. I must agreed in last months it has slowed down a bit . For reason unknown to me , i feel sleepy during my sits. I am hopeful that it is just passing issue and i will gather enough strength to continue doing this. Apart from the daily sits (~ 1 hour) i remain in awareness as much as i can.

Ques: How has it helped?
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: There are many aspects of changes i am observing,

1. Mind is no more constantly generating thoughts ( self thoughts about "I")
2. Instances of anger and loosing control has come down
3. Duration of anger has come down
4. Stress has reduced a lot
5. There is slight decrease in "I" and Ego issues
6. Sleep is better.
7. Self control is strengthening every passing day
8. I quit smoking , drinking , unnecessary eating and i found no quitting issues

<<Post 200 hours >> :
The above noted positives continue to be there , i will add additional observations
1. Journey towards a calm mind is going on. I find more peace within
2. Random events of anger do occur but they dont last long anymore
3. Self love and ego glorification has come down and i feel that self is observant and ensuring that i dont take a dip in the "I" syndrome.
4. The path is self reveling the journey itself , i have noticed that things related to what i need in the spritual journey is coming close to me without much effort. Books , Stories , Motivation all becomes visible when needed..... is someone helping me...i dont know... i hope .... there is someone
5. I have become aware of what i do and how i spend my time. Time wasting activities like TV etc has long left me.
6. All of a sudden i find myself close to the nature. I have turned into a avid bird watcher and enjoy every aspect of nature.
7. Need for a helping hand & blessing (call it 'the Guru') is arising as continue my journey. Books are helpful and i have a long list of it.
8. Professionally i am doing good , a peaceful mind has helped me in my job.
9. The worldly possessions doesn't make me weak , but they do attract me every now and then

Ques: What is the progress in Vipassana after 100 + plus days into it?

<<Post 100 hours >> :

Anapana has helped me in my concentration. I don't get lost with thoughts anymore during my sittings. The mind sharpness needs further development as sometime i find my own breath disturbing my focus
I don't see any aversion and craving for any type of sensations as such, however occasional -disappointments for not finding sensations does arise.
I am able to feel sensations across my body during my 1 hour sitting and also anytime i create aversion or craving, leading me to stop generating "Shakharas" to some extent.
The free flow is moderate. I don't know what i am feeling can be termed as ""free flow''. It needs to be further developed .

The gross sensations are in process of getting subtle but seems like it demands much deeper Samadhi that i need to develop further. Most of the time sensations are gross apart from feeling fine electric current when even i run my mind through out the body.
<<Post 200 hours >> :
The concentration has evolved and i get to stillness faster. Occasion of the mind wondering still exists (during sleepy moods) but then occasions of stillness also coming on my way. I have not had any vision or revelation as yet. Anapana is working to quite my mind, and it is doing it big time.
Sensations are as usual present. I dont see much progress into it. I cant make out if my gross sensations have dissolved. Some part of body has become more easy for sensation observation. I have noticed pain sensation during moments of anger .

Beyond mind and matter vision looks like a long journey as of now , i am considering a three day retreat sometime soon. i seek a Vipassana guru to help me more on this.

I would also like to read Satipatthana Sutta very soon. . Vipassana books as per Goenkaji method are rare to find.

Ques: Do i get bored ?
<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: Yes many time i do get bored simply sitting and watching sensation . I try to keep myself motivated by seeing videos and reading Vipassana books. It seems like a long way and i feel i am just 5 % there.

<<Post 200 hours >> :

Ans: Boredom moments are there, i also feel sleepy now and then. I have understood that if i had a good sleep before the sit , it gets better.

Ques: What I have learnt?

<<Post 100 hours >> :
Ans: I guess i have found glimpse of truth , but i may be wrong or not ready enough
1. I feel the separation between self and body . Sometime i find breathing is occuring without my effort
2. I still feel mind and self as same, as i haven't observed any such separation yet
3. Body we feel is because of sensations we produce , many times during meditation i observe the knowing of my body is shaped by the sensations around it. so eventually when i stop producing these sensations , i will stop feeling my body. This can be a wrong assumptions .
<<Post 200 hours >> :
1. I occasionally feel that breathing is voluntary and we breathing is just a mask. I have found occasions where i see body breathing and self watching it.
2. During half sleepy state i found intense sensations , however i guess those were due to fan running at the top and touching my skin.
3. Nothing additional i can remember that i have learnt new.
**** End of Experience summary ******

The progress in Vipassana depends upon individual willingness & effort. Dedication and determination is an important aspect of it. If you ask me a question "Do i see a transformation?" my answer would be "Yes". I couldn't believe that i lived 35 years in darkness and occasionally feel insecure that i might go back to same old ways due to lack of guidance & a Guru. I hope everyone who reads this blog finds some use of it.

All the best

Metta to everyone.

Random thoughts ...

Random thoughts ... क्यू गुमसुम सी रहती हो , हवाओं की तरह , लहराओ न कभी । उङ जाती हो पलक क्षपकते ही , साथ आओ न कभी ।। कुछ लम्हों की...